Praying for DR Congo

Our checked cleared USCIS (though it's actually made out to Homeland Security)!  Yesterday we got the letter that they received our stuff and we should be contacted with fingerprint appointments in the next few weeks!!!!  This is so exciting!!  Things are moving!!

We have friends who are in the DRC at the moment with their son.  They have been there a few weeks and are scheduled to fly home at the end of this week.  Please join us in praying that they would get the final paper that they need so that they will make their flight home.  They have 2 children here at home.  It is difficult for parents to be separated from their children.  It is a real possibility that the trip would need to be extended or a parent come home if they do not get their paperwork.  Again, Please pray with us that they will be able to fly home together and be a family of 5 by next Sunday!  

Janaa and Emma swinging at preschool 6 years ago.

Of course this just brings back sweet memories of traveling to get Janaa. 6 years ago today she and I spent the afternoon with her best friend, Emma and her mom, Kosharah.  I was able to go to Janaa's preschool, which she talked a lot about. More importantly, it was a great time to get to know Emma and Kosharah.  They have been precious to bring me in and love me.  You can't help, but fall in love with them.  I am so thankful for Emma and Janaa's friendship. They live a world away from each other, but understand each other in ways that no one else does/or can.  They are so different, yet so alike.   Emma and Kosharah were able to spend a week with us this summer while they were in The States.  One of the best weeks ever!  The girls are old enough to work our phones and ipads so it is not uncommon for me to wake up and hear Emma or Kosharah's voice.  I am ever thankful for technology.  I love few things more than listening to Emma and Janaa talk.  My prayer is that they will always have a special and close friendship.  I LOVE these girls!

Janaa and Emma at Mellow Mushroom this summer.

Post Baby Weight and Post Partum

With my brother at his wedding, 2 monhts before
I flew out to get Janaa.

I have always played ball, worked out, been cautious of what I ate...Terrified of weight!  I always assumed I would have kids and figure out how to get the weight off quickly.  When we started Janaa's adoption our first purchase was a Schwinn jogging stroller.  The last summer before she came home I had my niece and it was great practice!  Bottle first thing, strap her in for a jog, she slept on the ride, and nap time covered too.  It was perfect. I thought I had it all worked out because even on the morning I didn't get a run in...There was always an afternoon nap.

I assumed any weight I did gain would be short-term and due to adjusting to our new lives.  How little did I know!

I didn't really know people who had adopted.  (I did, but it was never spoken of.) I don't have the words to express my thoughts for fear of hurting someone or appearing to be judging. I am in no way doing that. We each have our own journey, and often we find others who have a similar story.  I didn't know others with a similar story to ours. There were few books written on family who chose to adopt and the daily life struggles they had. Even the internet offered little support.

All this to say, I didn't think much about baby weight or post-partum depression.  Those were "different" struggles that moms who adopted did not have.  Again! Was I in for a shock.

We were detained in Thailand an week longer than expected.  Issues came up with the American government as to Janaa's status as an "adoptable" child.  We were told, with Janaa sitting in my lap, that we could not adopt Janaa.  This sent us into an emotional state that I have never experience before or since. That is one of those moments that is hidden in my heart that words will never express.  The next week was spent locating her birth mother a couple of times, getting paper re-signed a couple of times, extra trips throughout the country and exhaustion at a new level.  At one point Brent was looking for a job in Thailand because we had decided that we would move and take care of her before leaving her.

When arriving home, I don't remember much about the first couple of weeks.  I remember laying on the sofa so sick I couldn't get up at times during the first week.  I remember feeling intense guilt for not taking care of Janaa and sadness missing out on more of her life. (My sadness was mixed with joy though.  My parents, brother and sister-in-law were with me about anytime Brent was at work that first week.  I loved seeing their sweet new love for each other.)  I went back to work immediately, which sucked what little life I had out of me. For about 2 months I couldn't keep any food in my system. Apparently the stress has taken its tole on my digestive system.  I lost about 25 pounds.  At one point I was just under 110 pounds.  Then it hit! I could finally eat and it was amazing!  I still watched what I ate and worked out, but my body has never been the same since. I gained my 25 pounds back then a few more and canNOT get those dern things off.

I, also, began to realized that though it wouldn't be called "post-partum", I was experiencing many of the same symptoms.  In psychology we talk about emotional highs and lows.  After any kind of exciting life event there is often an emotional low. Basically, your body produces lots of extra "feel good" chemicals during these events and then is slows down the production after the events leaving a person feeling sad, depressed or emotionally empty.  I would love to have known my chemical levels the last week and a half we were in Thailand because I bet there was a pretty intense drop once we got home.

I know that I have several friends on this journey with similar stories to ours.  I overlooked these things for a couple of years before I began to grasp what was going on. No one around me had been in my shoes. Though people cared I would never have shared the struggle because, OF COURSE! I didn't HAVE a baby so I shouldn't HAVE those struggles.  Know that they may come. Know that they may not.  But, remember that while your journey is different it is the road that all mommies take...loving their child selflessly...even if it means a few more pounds.  Those pounds are priceless!

Janaa's Story

Just like every birth, every adoption has a story.  We look forward to seeing Caleb's story unfold, but while we wait I'll share our first story....

Six years ago (Has it REALLY been that long?), I was frantically getting lesson plans together, working on a yearbook deadline and packing to leave for Thailand.  I had 3 days before my flight left to take me to the only place in the world I wanted to be...Chiang Mai, Thailand.

Brent and I had "met" Janaa when she was just 7 weeks old. I had a friend, Rachel, that I had met on a trip to Australia and Papua New Guinea when I was in high school.  Who knew that God was using that trip to bring my family together 10 years later.  Rachel (Yea, I know it's confusing, but that's our story.  Her name really is Rachel and it really is spelled the same as mine.)  met Janaa at the orphanage in Thailand and began fostering her.  The last sentence seems pretty straight forward, but that was a miracle in itself.  Janaa's story continues the same way...as a miracle.

Brent and I fell in love with Janaa and her foster brother. Eventually, 2 other foster sisters joined the family and we enjoyed few things a much as we did their updates.  We started sending packages to the kids when Janaa was about 9 months old.  At this point we NEVER imagined we would adopt her. Actually, we would not be ALLOWED to adopt her.  Thailand does not allow parents to request their child.  They have some great reasons for this, but that meant it never crossed our minds to request any of Rachel's kids.

A few weeks before Janaa's second birthday we found out that her paperwork was moving so she could be adopted.  6 days before her 4th birthday we flew home as a family of 3.

Was it impossible?! Yes!!  It would take a book to mention all the "impossibilities". During the time Brent and I were waiting, we read a book on the life of Moses.  Talk about a man who's life was filled with impossibilities!  It became a HUGE encouragement for us.

You see, we knew God had called us to adopt Janaa. Neither of us can explain it, but we have never felt the Lord move us to a decision as He did the day we learned her papers were moving.  From that point on we prayed in a way that we didn't really understand. We prayed BELIEVING.  It was hard sometimes. There were people who would ask what we would do if we didn't get Janaa.  We had no answer.  We believed God called us to her and believed He would show Himself great and mighty.  We knew that He could say no and be teaching us something else, but until we had reason to believe that we had to walk in faith...believing.

As we wait for Caleb we knew there is a different risk in his adoption.  DRC is concerned about their children who have been adopted internationally, and rightly so!  I appreciate that they are working to make sure their children are well cared for. However, this means that a few families who make poor decisions could hurt many children's chances to find a forever home.  When a country has to look into adoption situation it often holds up all the other children in the system.  This has been the case in the DRC, on and off, over the past year.

Please pray that families who are adopting are healthy families for their children.  Pray for the officials in the DRC to be able to place children in loving homes without needing to close operations for evaluation.  We fall more in love with the DRC every day.  We have friends traveling to get their son, right now. (I'm a little jealous, but I have goose bumps because of my excitement for them!)

Meeting my sweet girl in person! Priceless!
Brent came over 2 weeks after me.