Found!

There is SO much I'd love to share, but now is not the time. We did want to share a quick update for you all to be praying with us over. About a week ago we received a phone call from a friend asking if we would be interesting in adopting a baby boy due at the end of June.

Over the last week we have been crazy busy.  Keeping those we love informed has been almost impossible. We have been blessed with the most amazing family and friends. We found out today that we will be holding our baby boy in just 2 weeks!!  2 WEEKS!!!

That means I will never make it around to contacting all those we would love to tell. So...

We're expecting to adopt our baby boy in a couple of weeks!

We have spent a lot of time with his birth family the past week and it has been precious time. Because he is fairly local and for privacy sake we will not be sharing a lot of details here. There is still much to be done and legal paperwork that is very important. Please pray that all goes without any glitches. To say we are excited would be an understatement.  However, there is always a grief and loss that comes at the same time. Please pray for comfort and encouragement for the birth family. In a short time we have grown to love them. Our joy will be mixed with their grief.

Thank you sweet friends for your support and encouragement!  We are beyond blessed by each of you.

2 Years Already

It's January again. Not sure how, but it comes around every year at the same time. Crazy how that happens.  It's been 2 years since Brent and I felt very clearly that the Lord was moving us to pursue adoption again. At that time we had been researching for a few months and settled with the Congo. We contacted agencies, did all the beginning leg work, and were just waiting for me to graduate so we could focus on the home study and paperwork that needed to be attended to.

This January we find ourselves in a place we hadn't expected at this point in our lives.  We had hoped to adopt internationally once more before growing our family locally. Largely, because it's easier to adopt internationally the fewer children you have in your home. God seems to have a different plan. This week I have been reviewing our licenses for foster and adoption in NC.

 It is difficult to explain what paperwork, waiting, hoping, disappointment, loss, waiting, scrutiny, endless questions, finger prints, background checks, etc. can do to you emotionally.  I imagine that it is similar to pregnancy hormones. Yes, I have lost it with the lady at the courthouse over fingerprints, complete with tears.  My poor husband walked me out as he looked over his shoulder and told the lady, "We'll be back at 1:00."  I'm sure she was looking forward to it.

I have cried over paperwork...ANOTHER set of finger prints?! We're on the Federal grid already (3 sets to be exact) can't those be shared?  You need how many finger prints for the exact same sheet of paper? 2?!  It's the same machine. Same paper. Same day. Same time. Same person. Same fingers. You must be joking!

I don't know why, but it can be hard to constantly need papers of different types to prove you are a fit parent.  I am beginning to feel terrible asking people for references....Can't I just make a data base of all necessary documents?  Oh, No...right.  That exact same piece of paper, going to the same government office that has already approved us, needs to have a different agency name on top of the page... I get it! Oh, No...I don't.

However, through this I am learning. I am learning to lean. Not something I'm good at...the same goes for crying and tears.  They scare me, generally.  Maybe, I'll blog about that one day. :)  I don't like to need people, most of us don't.  But, God has been painfully showing me that I need Him in ways I never understood before. I need His grace, daily grace that has already forgiven my frustration and lack of trust.  I need those around me... because some days you have to drive to your friend's house for a hug...or go on long drives complete with conversation into the wee hours of the morning with your forever friend.  More than anything this has been a hard, but good road for Brent and I together.   We have had to do much preparation in our hearts with the Lord. Conversation with Janaa has been amazing. The next year could be C-R-A-Z-Y for our family and Janaa especially.

As one who always loves a challenge I'm pretty excited.  The hardest part with fostering to adopt is that it seems much more unpredictable. (I have no real clue about this seeing as I've never done this before.)  I do love my "To Do" list and planning, but I have a feeling they may be useless for advanced prep. I guess that just makes it an even better challenge.

Trying a lobster leg for Christmas dinner.

We have been blessed.  We like the agency we are working with and really like our social worker. Having a great social working makes the most amazing difference, especially domestically when you will see and interact with them quite often. We have friends and family who have given us clothes, cribs, listening ears, praying hearts, words of encouragement and time together as a couple to get things done.  This whole process is giving me a glimpse of The Body functioning well.

I don't talk about it much.  Often I don't know what to say or how to say it. Other times, I'm just tired and don't have answers. But, our God is good.  And, for some reason I can write what I cannot say.

Please continue to pray that God will prepare our hearts for the child or children that He will be placing in our home. Pray that Janaa's heart will be open for the changes it will mean for her. Pray that God will give us the grace to love well, to love as He loves us.

This, my amazing girl has taught me more of God's unconditional love than I ever thought possible.
She has been the greatest joy to raise and share life with. 

8 Birthdays

Though today is Janaa's 11th birthday it is our 8th with her.  Seems kind of strange, yet so normal...All we've ever known.  As we celebrate my mind is taken back to Thailand, to a day I didn't know existed until later.  The day my sweet baby took her first breath. I don't know what I was doing that day or where I was, but my life changed in a way I wouldn't know until a couple of years later.

November 22, 2003 a young mom went into labor early. I can only imagine the fear she was feeling not knowing what the next few hours, days, weeks or years may hold, yet within a short time the little lives within her would venture into the world and need so much love and care. I'm sure I would be terrified.  How would I care for them, work, educated and feed them?  So many conflicting thoughts and emotions. 

As they entered the world she must have felt much grief as her first baby didn't make it, and fear for the second. A tiny, sick baby with coal-black hair (She had a head full in her first picture at the orphanage so she HAD to have been born with it.) was left alone after 7 months of carrying 2 little heart beats.  

In a panic those around worked to keep my tiny baby alive. How could a mother who loves her child so much place her child with another family?  I don't know. I've never been in a place where I've had to make that choice.  What I do know is that it is the deepest kind of love, unconditional love, a love that endures heart-wrenching pain for the sake of your child.  This mother, Janaa's "first" mom, her "tummy" mommy, "birth" mommy... She is amazing.  

I have met her, twice...

I met her the day she wrote a paragraph for the government that ensured she was placing Janaa with a forever family. I met her a year later when I took Janaa back to her village to meet her and her family. Janaa's sweet heart and calm demeanor...that's her "tummy" mommy. 

On this day when many moms remember the rush to the hospital, the hours of labor, epidurals, walking halls...I don't know what to remember.  Occasionally, that's hard.  It's not something that I think about often, but it is the truth of our life.  The saying "Adoption is born of grief." is not one that I've liked a lot, but there are days when that grief is felt.  We have been so blessed.  Compared to so many stories, ours is simply amazing. We have had an atypical experience. We bonded quickly and well. Janaa doesn't have drastic issues stemming from being adopted.  In fact, she will often talk of how awesome it is that she has 3 moms and that no matter where's she has been in life God has always made sure she had a mommy.  Her grasp on the story God has written for her blows my mind. What a gracious gift He has given her. She has always known a mother's love.  

So today I look a little deeper into her dark brown eyes  and wonder what she is really thinking.  I trace the details of her face with my finger as not to forget that though she is taller, smarter, more mature...she is still my baby girl...my baby that I carried in my heart from the day I saw her tiny face in an email when she was just a few weeks old...my baby that I carried home from Thailand the week of her 4th birthday...my baby girl that snuggles up with me, reads a book and says, "Mommie, I'm so glad God gave me to you and you to me, we make a great pair. I don't want to grow up because I still want to be your baby."

I find it pretty cool that National Adoption Day is her birthday.  We celebrate here, but I pray for her birth mom a world away.  I'm sure this day is hard.  

Doors Open, Doors Close

A few weeks ago I asked Brent to update the blog.  I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It's not that I am in denial, but I've had a difficult time putting any words to this.  There's something final about posting a blog and then sharing it on Facebook.  I like to leave my options open.  However, we are far enough along in the the domestic process that we really needed to send out an update. 

We have always desired to adopt BOTH domestically and internationally.  While well meaning, this didn't "make us aware of the kids here".  I don't know how to explain this at the moment, but I will one day.



Brent here.  Some of you have asked...some of you are not aware.  I guess publishing this tonight is kind of an official announcement concerning our family and our hopes to expand it through the adoption process we were trying to get started in the DRC (Congo).  When we first looked at adopting again we looked long at hard at where to pursue adoption, and after prayer and discussion the Democratic Republic of Congo rose to the top of the list.  So many of you got behind us and supported us, whether through prayer, or even financially in some cases.  We had a yard sale that was a great success and we were able to pay for our application fees, home study, and initial government background check items easily.

Sadly, even though our hearts were open and ready to take the next step and get into the referral process, things began to quickly deteriorate on the other side of the ocean in the Congo.  Last year, two Congolese government agencies involved in the international adoption process got into a game of cat and mouse and effectively halted the process for anyone involved.  One agency grants the adoption, but the other agency grants what is called an exit letter.  This exit letter allows the adopted child to leave the country with their forever family.  This resulted in hundreds of families and children being stuck in the Congo, legally adopted but unable to go home.  The government has given all kinds of excuses for their behavior, but in the end the children are nothing but casualties of political bickering.

I think it's one of those things that when it happens you go..."Let's wait it out and see", hopeful that the situation will resolve itself but maybe knowing in the back of your mind, "This is never going to be worked out."  Months have passed and there is still no resolution.  Hundreds of children are still waiting.  There are parents that went there to get their children, were not allowed to leave, and have chosen to stay there until they can bring them home.  It has now been a year or so since everything crumbled in the adoption process in the DRC, interestingly enough a picture of the entire system of government there, where personal agendas and struggles for power stifle any movement forward.

Because of these circumstances and further discussion within our own family, we have made the decision to stop pursuing an adoption from the DRC.  First, we want to thank everyone who has had a kind word of support for us and taken a genuine interest in this with us, supporting us in prayer as well.  Secondly, to all of you who gave a dollar or ten or a thousand...I hope you will know that it was not wasted.  Where one door closes another opens (cliche I know, but true).  We entered into this in faith that God would take us where we needed to go and provide for us to make this happen, and he did.  He ended up showing us that this time around, we need look no further than our own area for a way to give a child a home to come to.  We are in the midst of partnering with the American Children's Home in Lexington to be licensed to foster and foster to adopt.  We ask that you pray for us as we finish this process up and that the child(ren) God would have for us to show love and a real sense of home to would be brought into our family.

Homeschool Breakdown

We have officially completed our first and only year of homeschooling.  She is going back to "regular" school next year.  Caleb's adoption was one of the things that helped me finally cave and agree to keep Janaa home. It has been such a great year of learning.  It's exactly what I expected and not at all what I expected all rolled into one experience. Here's my breakdown of the year.

What I LOVED:

• Slow mornings with Janaa- This is my absolute #1
• Listening to Janaa playing 
• The extra time spent with Janaa
• Our family being together more
• Learning along with Janaa
• Understanding exactly where she is and what she's learning in school
• Learning HOW Janaa learns: strengths and weaknesses
• Sewing together
• The ability to do as we pleased with our time
• Focusing on the important not the immediate
• Allowing Janaa to explore learning in many areas that she otherwise would not have
• Being able to choose the curriculum
• The experience in itself
• Stretching me as an educator
• NO HOMEWORK
• Bedtime - not a big deal
• Play time abounds - exploring is education

What I Did NOT Love: 

• Being responsible for multiple subjects - I've never been good with elementary. I'd rather scrub toilets
• Feeling the pressure that every moment I needed to make sure she learned something
• Worry of making sure I educated her well
• The amount of down/alone time she had when I was working
• The need for child care that does not exist during the day for elementary students
• Lack of others her age that she's around during the day.  

Overall, there were many more positives than negatives.  I have always known that I was not "cut out" for homeschooling.  We never considered it for more than 4th and 5th grades. If I could do it over again, I would do it all the same. We didn't have the perfect homeschool.  I'm not the best teacher, but she assesses just fine.  In some ways we were able to get back some of the time that we missed in her first 4 years.  We had very little time together from the time she came home until she started school.  It was good for us to have this time before she hits the teen years. They are coming fast and I am well aware they will slip away before I know it. Each day, the hard and fun, has been a sweet blessing that I will forever cherish. 

Very unusual for us to sit at a table very long.
Doesn't she look super grown up though?

Thanksgiving Precedes the Miracle

In the last week the adoption situation in the DRC has deteriorated significantly, to the point that our agency is asking families to postpone visits in the DRC with their children.  There have been small riots reported and the government does not appear thrilled with the US and other countries involved with adopting their children.

2 delegations from the DRC of high ranking officials have been scheduled to visit the US for months. Families who have completed their adoptions were asked to come to either D.C. or Minneapolis to visit with the delegation so they could see how the children were doing in the States.  Both delegations were scheduled to fly out over the past week.  From what we understand Stateside when they got to the airport in Kinshasa their passports were confiscated and they were not allowed to leave the country.

There is really no way to tell what is really going on, but to give perspective...
Adoptions are stilling being issued in the DRC. The office that handles those does not seem to have a problem with international adoption.  There is a separate office that issues a piece of paper that allows the children to leave the country.  This office does not want adoptions issued or children leaving the country.  They are the office that had the delegations' passport taken at the airport, at least from the reports we have received. There seems to be a power struggle between these offices, and having read up on my DRC history I'm guessing they are not the same political party, but I'm not totally sure.

In the DRC's defense a Belgium lady, apparently, tried to escape with her child recently. (Belgium Lady Tries to Smuggle Child)That is called smuggling and hurts so many children.  These reports anger me.  I realize that parents are getting desperate, especially as a lot of the children are incredibly sick and a few have even died. However, smuggling one child is going to cause many more to go without homes, families and possibly even die.

Practically...You can adopt your child, but there is no way to know when or IF they will ever come home.  Not a very healthy situation for children.

So where does this leave us...

Giving Thanks! I'm not sure I would have been here a few weeks ago, but the Lord placed a friend in my life who He has used to teach me about Thanking Him. Thanking Him in the ugly.

Brent and I have spent some time this week talking about where we are with this.  We know without a doubt that the Lord called us to adopt from the DRC.  We took the step to adopt in faith knowing our Caleb is there.  What we didn't think about was the timeline. It seemed cut and dry, for the most part, as much as any adoption is cut and dry. (Insert eyes rolling)  God never promised us when. He just asked us to walk believing.

The first of the week was difficult for me. Realizing that with the set backs the reality of our adoption moving anywhere in the next year or 2 would be highly unlikely.  Yet, as we sat to talk the Lord had already worked in Brent's heart weeks ago. He had already reconciled Brent's heart to the long wait. What a blessing because I don't think 2 of us would have done well at the same emotional place. :)


So, as I am understanding more of God I am learning more about giving thanks.  Easter is a great week to remember this. What did Christ do before His death? He gave thanks!  We give thanks because we believe God is working for our good. Oh, how I wish I really understood this. I am learning this so I choose to give thanks for this time.  For this waiting. This set back. The unknown.  For the miracle of Caleb that we cannot see yet.

I don't have answers to many questions that I know many have.  I like answers. I thrive on information. The more I know the more comfortable I am.  What we do know is that we will keep our paperwork ready for when it can be submitted. We will continue to work and save for the cost of the adoption.

If you have read to this point...Your truly are a dear friend.

As we wait, please pray specifically for this office in the DRC.

The office that is working through DRC adoptions and responsible for the suspension.
Pray for wisdom for them. Pray for their hearts to be moved for the children.
Pray for them to know how to care for the orphans of the DRC.
Pray they would not be overwhelmed by the tasks ahead.
Pray their hearts will be open to see the many blessings of adoption for those who do not have families.

DRC News - Please Help!

Many of you have asked where we are in the adoption process, if we know who Caleb is, when he is coming home....

Those are all great questions and we wish we had those answers ourselves.  When we started researching over a year ago we thought we would be in a different place on our timeline by now.  What we couldn't foresee was the DR Congo suspending adoptions.

Where are we in the process? We have our dossier basically ready to go. However, we haven't sent it.  Here is why.  There are between 500-600 adopted children stuck in country right now.  Once the country opens all of the families will need to be processed. Our guess is before any "new" families get through.

We are also a bit concerned about the direction the the DR Congo is taking.  Is there a chance the suspension could be indefinite?  Yes, there is always that chance.  When we submit our dossier we have to make a large financial deposit.  We have been blessed by many of you who have supported us financially. We want to be very careful to be a good steward of those finances.  We also do not have all that we need. Janaa's adoption was a great testimony of God's provision.  Every time we needed a deposit...it showed up.  God has not provided that yet.  We can't help but wonder if it is His protection on guiding us on His timeline.

Do we know who Caleb is?  No.  Honestly, this month has been a hard one. We didn't expect that we wouldn't know what his sweet face looked like by this point. However, referrals come after the dossier is sent to the  DR Congo so until that is sent we will not have a referral.

When is he coming home?  No clue!!! Not even a guess at the timeline anymore.  With the suspension all timelines, guesses and estimates are off.

I am posting a few articles and videos below.  I know that when you're not involved it's hard to care in the same way.  Been there! If you have a second please check them out.

We covet your prayers.  But there is also something you can DO to help.  Below is a link to a petition to Congress. Please take a couple of minutes to submit it.

There is a delegation coming from Kinshasa in a couple of weeks. While they have been saying it is to help work through all that is going on with adoptions, it is becoming more clear that they aren't really focusing on this.  At this point only 1 agency is allowed 1 hour with the delegation.  We were on a conference call with the Embassy in Kinshasa and a few other government agencies 2 weeks ago.  We were much less than impressed with their work.  It is very frustrating.

Children who are legally adopted are dying while waiting to be released from the country. Please help the families who are stuck and in the long run it will be helping us as well.


Both Ends Burning - They produced the movie STUCK

Short News Video on a Stuck Family

Petition 2 Congress. - Please take a moment and fill out the petition