We have shared what is going on in the DR Congo. They are still suspended in spite of rumors that they might open this month. There are families still stuck, some in country others here. When governments start suspending offices that deal with adoptions, even to "re-organize" it is very scary. It poses the questions: Will they end up closing? How long will my child be "stuck" before coming home? Will they ever get home?
For several reasons we have kept an ongoing dialogue with the Lord about His leading for our family. This adoption we have been fundraising. We realize that we can't do it alone this time. Then we start thinking: Are we gambling with finances if the country should shut down?
Oh the questions!!
Are we abandoning Congo because we are scared?
Do we REALLY think God will work this out?
What will happen to the children if everyone gets scared?
We are not called to a life of ease. Is God asking us to step out against the odds?
Is the craziness His guiding us away from Congo?
Many more flowed from our hearts, mouths and minds, but I'll spare you.
The only place that would really cause us to abandon Congo would be Thailand. Why didn't we go back there first? It is hard to get in a program. With more families aware of Thailand and a limited number of referrals yearly, it is just a long waiting game. We desired an infant. Mainly, because, for some reason, the Lord tossed Congo on our hearts.
We heard of a possible opening in a Thai program with an agency we respect. We have spent the last 3 days talking with them, our home study agency, a new home study agency (because we would have had to switch agencies for Thailand), and asking a handful of close friends and family to pray for God to make Himself very clear to us. Selfishly, Thailand would be perfect! We want to adopt from there again and it will be hard once we have 2 children at home. Janaa could spend time with friends when we traveled, we could see her birth mom again, Brent could do some things he missed on his first trip... PERFECT!!!
Yesterday afternoon I sat in "Caleb's Room" and asked the Lord to please make Himself clear to us. I began to grieve the loss of "Caleb" at the thought of moving to Thailand. Brent spent the day praying and as we talked last night we realized that the Lord used the only thing that could make us waver to confirm His calling. We have more peace and resolve to continue with Congo now than when we started the process.
Our home study is 5 months old. It's been about 7 months since the yard sale, and it's been a year since we decided on Congo and starting taking steps toward the adoption. It is not going to be what we expected when we started OR as we wanted. But! It is always as God has planned.
Psalm 139:16
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
We know that our days...Brent...Rachel...Janaa...Caleb...are already written. God knows where we will be in 10 years. He knows where Caleb is, when we will meet him, what we looks like...who is birth family is and the struggle they must be living through. We worry and pray (this we should do), while God already has it figured out.
Now to just remember this continually!
He will move heaven, earth and the DGM to show His glory to all the earth!
